TED演讲|我们为什么相爱？
我们为什么总是用它来折磨自己呢？
Does love make our lives meaningful,
爱会让我们的生命有意义吗？
or is it an escape from our loneliness andsuffering?
亦或它使我们从孤寂和痛苦中解脱？
Is love a disguise for our sexual desire,
还是用来掩饰我们对性的欲望吗？
or a trick of biology to make us procreate?
还是说它是身体戏弄我们去繁衍后代的 一个手段？
Is it all we need?
爱是一切吗？
Do we need it at all?
我们真的需要爱吗？
If romantic love has a purpose,
如果说爱情是有目的，
neither science nor psychology hasdiscovered it yet.
自然科学和心理学上至今却对此都没什么发展。
But over the course of history,
但在历史的长河中，
some of our most respected philosophershave put forward some intriguing theories.
一些我们敬佩的哲学家 曾推出过一些有趣的理论。
Love makes us whole, again.
爱情使我们再一次变得完整。
The ancient Greek philosopher Plato
古希腊哲学家柏拉图
explored the idea that we love in order tobecome complete.
探索了“爱让我们变得完整”这一理念
In his "Symposium", he wroteabout a dinner party,
在《会饮篇》中， 他描述了一个晚餐派对，
at which Aristophanes, a comic playwright,
派对上，一位喜剧演员，阿里斯托芬，
regales the guests with the following story:
讲了如下这个故事来娱乐在场的宾客：
humans were once creatures with four arms,four legs, and two faces.
人类曾是拥有四个臂膀， 四条腿和两张脸的生物。
One day, they angered the gods,
有一天，他们惹到了众神，
and Zeus sliced them all in two.
于是宙斯就把他们都一劈两半
Since then, every person has been missinghalf of him or herself.
从此以后， 每个人都缺失着自己的另一半。
Love is the longing to find a soulmatewho'll make us feel whole again,
爱是渴望找到一个能让我们 再次感到完整的灵魂伴侣。
or, at least, that's what Plato believed adrunken comedian would say at a party.
至少，这是柏拉图所相信的 一个喝醉的喜剧演员在派对上讲的话
Love tricks us into having babies.
爱哄骗着我们有了小宝宝。
Much, much later, German philosopher ArthurSchopenhauer
很久很久以后， 德国的哲学家亚瑟·叔本华
maintained that love based in sexual desire
坚称爱是基于性欲的，
was a voluptuous illusion.
它是一种撩人的幻想。
He suggested that we love because ourdesires lead us to believe
他提出我们相爱是因为 我们的欲望引导我们相信
that another person will make us happy, butwe are sorely mistaken.
另外一个人能让我们快乐， 但我们其实错了。
Nature is tricking us into procreating,
我们的本性在 诱使着我们繁衍后代，
and the loving fusion we seek isconsummated in our children.
我们所寻找的爱的融合 结生出我们的儿女。
When our sexual desires are satisfied,
当我们的性欲得到满足时，
we are thrown back into our tormented existences,
我们会重返我们 痛苦焦灼的存在
and we succeed only in maintaining thespecies
我们繁衍只是为了延续我们的种族
and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery.
然后持续循环着 这人生的痛苦
Sounds like somebody needs a hug.
听着好像有人需要抱抱了呢。
Love is escape from our loneliness.
爱是从孤单中的解脱。
According to the Nobel Prize-winningBritish philosopher Bertrand Russell,
根据诺贝尔获奖者， 英国哲学家，博特兰·罗素所言
we love in order to quench our physical andpsychological desires.
我们用爱来慰藉 我们身体和心理上的欲望
Humans are designed to procreate,
人类生来就是为了繁衍的，
but without the ecstasy of passionate love,
但没有充满激情的爱 来做迷幻剂的话，
sex is unsatisfying.
性也是无法令人满足的。
Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts usto build hard shells
我们对冰冷又残酷的恐惧 促使我们修炼出坚硬的外壳
to protect and isolate ourselves.
来保护并隔绝我们自己。
Love's delight, intimacy, and warmth helpsus overcome our fear of the world,
爱的愉悦，亲密，和温暖 帮助我们克服对这世界的恐惧，
escape our lonely shells,
逃脱我们孤独的外壳，
and engage more abundantly in life.
让我们更完全的参与到生活中来。
Love enriches our whole being, making itthe best thing in life.
爱让我们整个人感到富足， 所以它成了生命中最棒的东西。
Love is a misleading affliction.
爱是种容易被误解的苦难。
Siddhārtha Gautama,
悉达多·乔达摩，
who became known as the Buddha, or theEnlightened One,
那个为人所知修成佛的，成功受到教化的人，
probably would have had some interestingarguments with Russell.
或许能和罗素 有一段很有趣的争论。
Buddha proposed that we love because we aretrying to satisfy our base desires.
佛说，我们爱是为了 满足我们最基本的欲望
Yet, our passionate cravings are defects,
但是，我们充满激情的渴望 反而成为我们的缺陷，负担，
and attachments, even romantic love, are agreat source of suffering.
尽管是浪漫的爱情， 也会成为强大的痛苦源头。
Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path,
幸运的是， 佛发现了八正道，
a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire
一个能使我们 消除杂欲的套路
so that we can reach Nirvana,
这样我们才能达到重生，
an enlightened state of peace, clarity,wisdom, and compassion.
一个令人愉悦的境界， 充满了平和，清静，智慧和热情
The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated thisBuddhist sentiment
小说家曹雪芹描述了这样一种佛教信仰
that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest classical novels,
浪漫的爱情 在一本名著里是充满讽刺性的，
"Dream of the Red Chamber."
红楼梦
In a subplot, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng
在书中的一个情节中，贾瑞爱上了王熙凤
who tricks and humiliates him.
尽管她戏弄并羞辱了他。
Conflicting emotions of love and hate tearhim apart,
爱和厌恶的矛盾让他近乎崩溃
so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror thatcan cure him
一个道士给了他一个魔镜， 告诉他这个墨镜可以帮他度过这个痛苦
as long as he doesn't look at the front of it.
只要他不去看这面镜子
But of course, he looks at the front of it.
但是贾瑞不出意外的看了这面镜子
He sees Xi-feng.
他在镜子中看到了王熙凤。
His soul enters the mirror
他的灵魂进入了这面镜子，
and he is dragged away in iron chains to die.
肉体便被死神的锁链拉走了。
Not all Buddhists think this way aboutromantic and erotic love,
但不是所有的佛教徒都这样理解 浪漫的爱情和性欲
but the moral of this story
但是整个故事的伦理
is that such attachments spell tragedy,
尤其是这个充斥着魔法的悲剧
and should, along with magic mirrors, beavoided.
和这个邪恶的魔镜一样，应该被消除。
Love lets us reach beyond ourselves.
爱情让我们找到更棒的自己
Let's end on a slightly more positive note.
让我们在一个更积极一点的理论中结束。
The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir
法国哲学家，西蒙娜·德·波伏娃提出，
proposed that love is the desire tointegrate with another
爱情是探索彼此的欲望，
and that it infuses our lives with meaning.
并且让人们的生活更有意义。
However, she was less concerned with why we love
但是，她并没怎么解释相爱的原因
and more interested in how we can love better.
她更关心我们怎么样能更好的相爱。
She saw that the problem with traditionalromantic love
她发现了爱情中常见的问题，
is it can be so captivating,
那就是爱情让人过于沉沦，
that we are tempted to make it our onlyreason for being.
我们往往倾向于把爱情，
Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence
这种彼此依靠当作自身存在的理由
easily leads to boredom and power games.
这便很容易引起厌倦和控制欲。
To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised lovingauthentically,
为了避免这个问题，波伏娃建议 人们应该相爱得更真实
which is more like a great friendship.
把爱情看成更高一层次的友谊
Lovers support each other in discovering themselves,
爱人间支持彼此的同时发掘自身的潜力，
reaching beyond themselves,
达到更好的自己，
and enriching their lives and the worldtogether.
充实自己的生活并让这世界变得更好
Though we might never know why we fall inlove,
尽管我们不知道我们为何相爱，
we can be certain that it will be anemotional rollercoaster ride.
我们可以确定的是这将是一场起伏颇多的旅程。
It's scary and exhilarating.
他会变的可怕， 亦或是令人兴奋。
It makes us suffer
会让我们痛苦，
and makes us soar.
也会让我们心情高涨。
Maybe we lose ourselves.
也许我们会失去自我。
Maybe we find ourselves.
也许会让我们找到更好的自己。
It might be heartbreaking,
会让我们心碎，
or it might just be the best thing in life.
也会成为最好的一段经历。
Will you dare to find out?
你敢不敢试试？
来源：TED演讲
编辑：张冉返回搜狐，查看更多